I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
