why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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