Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
