shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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