You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
