she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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