Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize