my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
soo... how was my night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
