i just made my gag reflex go away.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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