marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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