I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
