Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
