Apparently you make a good broom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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