Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
