i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
