is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
