"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
