After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
