if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
