If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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