We're facebook friends in real life
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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