i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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