i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
