I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
