Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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