**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
