So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
