I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
