My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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