I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
