The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
