Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
