before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
