Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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