That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
