FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
