That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize