Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize