Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
