quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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