I hate your face
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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