if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
