Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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