We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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