they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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