I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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