sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
