all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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