Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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