and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize