yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
