PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
