i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
