I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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