After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
